STARR Program for Domestic Violence

A Three-Day Two Night Accelerated Personal Development Course and Retreat for Women

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”  Og Mandino-Inspirational Author

Women who are exposed to abuse and domestic violence learn to live with fear and discouragement. They begin to believe that nothing can change. They lose faith that their lives can be any different.  What happened to them, the abusive events; are not who they are. This three-day course provides an opportunity for them to discover their true/authentic selves, learn to set boundaries, recognize their strengths, and develop the faith in themselves needed to begin healing and rebuilding their self-esteem and confidence. By participating at 100%, in a safe, confidential and supportive environment, they can start seeing themselves in a new light…with a brighter outlook.

Given the circumstances in their lives they have many times felt helpless. Helplessness is learned… and it can be unlearned. Through a series of experiential exercises and success principles taught in this course they will have the opportunity to experience the value in making different choices and initiating positive changes… resulting in a more hopeful future.

The participants are required to be in therapy or in a therapeutic group, and must have taken the courageous step of leaving their abusive environments before they can participate in the STARR Program. STARR is a collaborative endeavor in each community. We provide an orientation and debrief for the shelters, various groups, agencies and therapists that have enrolled the women in the three-day course. STARR is an innovative jump-start…an accelerated augmentation to the more traditional forms of therapy, personal empowerment or other educational programs designed and offered specifically to victims of domestic violence.

Course Agenda and the Wisdom of RE

Re-assess – Women must complete a personality profile to self-assess and identify who they are innately and how their beliefs, values and perceptions of themselves and the world have shaped them.

Re-evaluateFear Vs Faith -We start by creating a safe, supportive and confidential context so the women can re-evaluate what’s working and what’s not working in their lives.We develop a foundation of trust and they are given choice to participate in the various exercises that build on each other throughout the three-day process. They create their own powerful vision and mission statement  around what they want to achieve, and the women they want to become, to move them forward in their lives.

ReflectHelpless to Hopeful – Helplessness is learned and can be unlearned. They reflect on their past and acknowledge and honor themselves for enduring the darkness and doing what they had to do up until now… in order to survive.

ReaffirmSurviving Vs Thriving – Though they are clearly not responsible for the behavior of their perpetrators, they can now begin to learn to thrive by taking responsibility for their choices from this point forward. What happened to them, the abusive events in their lives, is not who they are. When a woman is at choice it is only then that she can see or exercise her options.   

Recognize – Overpowered to Empowered – Once they have done the emotional work they are now ready to put the principles they learned in Day 1 into practice. A self-defense team is brought into the course on Day 2 to have them experience using their voices, set clear boundaries, reaffirm their innate strengths, trust their instincts and empower themselves.

Reclaim – Through a series of breakthrough exercises they fearlessly reclaim their broken hearts and begin to heal the wounds of their abusive pasts. By giving and receiving feedback, they redefine how they see themselves and others.

Recommit – At this point they have recognized and internalized their strengths, and they recommit to making the changes necessary to protect themselves and maintain the safety of their children.

Recalibrate – They begin to use our copyrighted “Playing to Win” Chart and numerous other triggers we provide, so when they leave the three-day course, they can continually recalibrate to sustain the positive and forwarding choices they have made. Through their full participation, and after graduation from STARR, they leave with a renewed commitment to the therapeutic work they began before the course. Their potential for success and maintaining the safety of their children is now significantly greater.

Through their 100% participation they can expect to learn to …

  • Identify their innate personalities–strengths and limitations and why they do what they do    
  • Learn to trust themselves and others (safe people)
  • Set clear boundaries to effectively communicate what’s OK and what’s not OK
  • Make choices that will support and sustain positive change
  • Be a positive influence in the lives of their children
  • Redefine their true purpose and goals
  • Give and receive valuable feedback and build a healthy network of support
  • Break-through the barriers and limitations that have held them down
  • Rebuild their lives using the tools, triggers and principles they received in STARR
  • Recalibrate daily using our Playing to Win Chart
  • Commit to continue their personal development in therapy or group